Maintenance

After the building phase is complete, the part that comes next is less glamorous, often overlooked and perceived to require minimal effort, it’s called maintenance.

The energy required to maintain the creation of tangible items, like a car, are more obvious and the maintenance is pretty straightforward. The energy required to maintain the creation of intangible items, like a personality, are invisible and can be complex to maintain if it’s an elaboration.

It may to tempting to look at the most elaborate plans or personalities and try to emulate them. But, if it is not a natural compliment to who we are, the excess energy needed to maintain it will eventually compromise its survival.

Honesty is a great companion to maintenance – It requires less energy and creates a space that supports growth. If you find yourself constantly drained or overextended, ask yourself if you’ve built something that is more elaborate than you can currently handle. And if the answer is yes, re-create at a level that can be properly maintained.

Who I am today

Each morning I wake up and think about “who I am today.” It does not always happen as a conscious thought, but I am aware it happens on some level. As I go through my morning routines, I reinforce who I am through my actions, environment, thoughts, etc. My personality gets “put on”, and when the process is automated, who I am becomes shaped by how the world has defined me and how I have defined myself in the past. It operates like clockwork until the moment I am willing to interrupt these dominant structures.

When the process is automated, it feels like much of this happens behind my back. Who is responsible for defining who I am in a particular moment if it’s not (consciously) me? I imagine that’s the only logical reason to explain why I would choose to be the same person today that I was yesterday.

It takes intentional direction, radical action and uncharted willingness to let go of even a day old personality. But, it’s the only way for me to truly establish who I am today.