There was a period in my life where I practiced going to bed late and waking up early. During this time, I had convinced myself that less sleep would place me at a greater advantage for achieving success. What did it matter that I felt like crap? Somehow, I knew that all the “greats” I admired had achieved success by depriving themselves of this opposing luxury.

Sleep deprivation was the cause of my misery and my reward. Although I was physically drained, there was an invisible badge of honor that saluted my value to the world. Eventually, I became increasingly depleted, less creative and felt like a failure when I was actually rested– Something had to change.

It took me years to fall into a rhythm of getting the amount of sleep that my body required. The guilt of getting sufficient sleep was the most difficult block to overcome. Still occasionally, when I contemplate what I can do to heighten or spur productivity, sleep is the first area where I consider compromise

Admittedly, defeating sleep is still a secret wish of mine. So today, when I woke up several hours early, I believed that my wish had been granted. Could it be that I had somehow entered a rare category of individuals who can operate and thrive without the normal dosage of sleep?

Living out the desires of my wish, I completed my morning routine in high spirits then headed into my office. It was invigorating. I felt a sense of accomplishment, as if I had conquered something that few people could.

The illusion was short-lived. As I began to settle into my day, the allure of sleeplessness had apparently wore off. The imagined vigor I experienced moments before was now replaced by real exhaustion. Clearly, I was not part of that rare group of sleepless and inspiring individuals as told in popular fable-like stories.

That’s when I realized how intoxicating sleep deprivation really is– It promised me everything while taking me nowhere. At that moment, I decided to leave my office and go somewhere that could support me thriving. I gathered my things, headed home, and went back to bed.